Friday, July 27, 2007

An Everlasting Love Story....Brought to you by, Wills - Part II

The situation was spiraling out of control! I had to do something about it. That is when we had this Christmas friend thingy happening. The idea about which is that you draw lots and get a friend to whom you have to give a present. Also, the loser who gets your name has to give you a present! Ramba’s friend was one of my hostel mates (Jiju?). After much haggling and begging I finally got to be her Christmas friend.

My calculation was that the co-incidence factor of me getting her name-slip in a “free and fair” lot draw, would undoubtedly sit in good light with her. Women are such suckers for “signs” like these and after all, we Indians are so happily superstitious. I knew it in my heart, this was gonna work for sure!

Opportunity does not knock twice and I saw this as a God given chance to prove my undying love for Ramba. So we (notice the plural?) decided that I (notice the singular?) should use this opportunity not just to give a present, but also to propose to her. Lesson Learnt: It doesn’t matter who all decide, the doer is the loser!

I too felt much the same. I had to make use of whatever scant chances I had. To this date, I am not cent percent sure who gave me the actual idea on HOW to propose. Nikhil claims that it was his idea. Seeing how screwed up it was, I am pretty sure it is. His idea (my undoing) was to use a cigarette packet to propose to the her!!! Yeah, you read right, a cigarette packet! The plan was to take a “Wills” cigarette packet, highlight the part that says “made for each other” in red ink, put in some toffees inside and present it to her.

I still can’t believe that I fell for that one. I mean, how sick is it to propose to a girl (and that too an Indian, conservative girl) using a cigarette packet? I guess it was all those stressy engineering papers, that did this to me… confused me, they did! (See, even after 4 years, I am still talking like Yoda of star wars!). Anyways I was so star struck with the opportunity to propose that nothing else seemed to matter now. I felt that whichever way I did it, she would definitely say yes.

Finally D-Day arrived. The whole hostel rallied behind me (after all, who lets up on making somebody else a total ass!). They got me the cigarette packet, the toffees, somebody (I think bonnie) even wrote a card. The only job I had left was to go and give it to her. I had this bad feeling about the cigarette, right from the beginning. But, with such great support from my friends, I pushed aside all my misgivings and went straight…to slaughter!

It was after the second last hour, that the presents were to be distributed. I spent most of the day in the toilet. I was that scared. I mean, how would she take it? Will she say “yes”, “no” or “let me think”?? I was in total confusion. My earlier sense of confidence seemed to have evaporated away like morning dew under a hot sun. “Nervous wreck” best summed up my state of mind.

At last the hour of reckoning approached, did I hear the angel sounding the last trumpet or was it just my over active imagination? Shrugging it off, I walked up to her seat. But, as I walked, somehow out of nowhere, I seemed to get a lot of confidence. It was like, “Man what is the big deal? You can do it! Just keep your cool”. So, with a winning smile (a horrid blush according to bystanders) on my face I went up to her and said…

I: Hello Ramba!
Ramba: Hello Abraham! Oooo are you my Christmas friend! Cool, it is such a pleasant surprise!
I: Smiled (I mean, I still don’t know what to tell a female when she “ooo’s” at you).
Ramba: So, tell me, what have you got for me?
I (smiling shyly now): It is a rather novel gift. Hope you like it.
Ramba: Ofcourse, I will love anything you give me, I am sure!
I (Thinking): maaan, she’s gonna say yes! I am sure! The stars have shined upon me!
I: Well here it is, open up and see.

At that precise moment, the villain arrived on scene. Lesson Learnt: “anything that can go wrong will go wrong” – Murphy’s Law.

Villain: Hello Ramba, see what I bough for you…
Ramba: Are you too my Christmas friend?
I (What the f**** look on my face)
Villain: No, I am not, but I thought I will get you a gift anyways.
Ramba: oooo! So thoughtful of you! I am flattered (and me flattened!)
Villian: It is nothing, just nothing. It’s my pleasure.
I (Thinking): If it is nothing, then why did you bring it, pest!

She opened his gift first and guess what, it is the poster of her favorite cricket star.
Oooooo! She shrieked. So loud, that everyone in the class turned around to see the hoola boola! She ran around the class with that poster, doing a jig and dance with it. My present still lay unopened at her seat!

The professor walked in at that point and everyone went hush hush. I had to go back to my seat... white as a sheet! Nikhil was there to cheer me up, “Don’t worry machuu, once she opens her gift, she is all yours, believe me!” Poor me, I believed him. Lesson Learnt: Never believe Nikhil, especially on matters of love advice!

From where I was sitting, I couldn’t see her for the next one hour. But it wasn’t necessary. After about half an hour, I saw the guy sitting in front of me happily chewing something. “Where did you get this dude, you got one for me too?” I asked, “Sure, here’s one” he said and gave me one toffee… the same that I had given to Ramba! Lesson Learnt: What goes around comes around!

It was only after class that I could talk with her. Fortunately the villains were taking a break and I was able to walk with her alone. I thought I would walk her to her hostel, what she needed was a cool and calm mind. Then she would understand my love!

As we walked together, a big silence hung between us. But by the time I reached the steps of our fifth floor, I couldn’t hold back anymore. I was desperate to know. In the end I blurted out “Did you open my gift?”, “Yes” she hummed back. “Did you… did you…. did you see the part marked in red?” I asked. My heart was beating so hard that I was positively afraid I wouldn’t be able to hear what she said. After a long pause, I heard the acknowledgment to my q coming…. “Hmmm…” she replied and then she just stood there. No “yes”, No “no” and No “let me think”. Only a “Hmmm…”! Things didn’t look good!

I was one step below her, so I looked up into her eyes….. and there I saw.... pure heartless rejection!!!! But, what if I was mistaken??? So, I walked down one more step hoping that she would follow, but she did not. I walked down two and looked back again… she still did not follow. Lesson Learnt: Never propose while standing on a step! *

Well, so I walked down the rest and went back to my hostel and lived happily ever after!**

*They say failure is the stepping stone to success, well if you find the guy who said that, please do me a favor. Break his ruddy neck!!!
**Were you expecting, some Greek tragedy???

13 comments:

N!$#@N^# said...

I must say that it is/was a complete entertainment... reading your blog & the real tragedy that you went thru ( unilke the machismo image that you tried to create in the end.., am i being a sadist ??? :-) lol...)

why don't you tell the readers who the actual Ramba in this story? is... :-)

Anonymous said...

you were on the top stair and she walked away..you forget that i was standing right beind you buddy!!!!

Unknown said...

Nishu: Tell her name.. no way, remember she is married and most probably has a kid too, who knows. You are sadist...:)

bonnie: poda poda.... you were nowhere in that area...:)

Bavitha said...

You know what? I for one love the Wills idea. Had you switched the toffee in the cig packet with something else, you might've had better luck.

Unknown said...

Bavitha: ha ha, well my misfortune that you were not in my class...:)Ramba, anyways had no respect for "original" ideas...:).

"Switched with something else" like??...:)

busy-writer said...

jus came across your blog.. and man, trust me, i was sure glued!!!! a total entertainer(sry, for u tho :P) .. twas a great read. shit, im not suppposed to say all this. im supposed to sympathise :-P

Unknown said...

The WILLS idea still rock man!!!

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