Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Ctrl + Alt + Delete! The Kate Winslet Affair - Part III

Scene 1 Take 2
Chacko sees Chemmachen walking towards the room with a wide smile on his handsome face.

He could have turned off the monitor, he could have turned off the computer, he could have done a lot of things, instead, all he did was keep typing “ctrl + alt + delete”. In the deathly silence that filled the room, only the frantic “tak tak tak” sounds as he pelted the keyboard were to be heard.

As is normal during such abnormal situations, the computer failed to respond! Kate Winslet still stood proud and erect with a faint smile on her supple lips defying all logic for a messy shut down.

“Enthokke onde bonnie” (How are you) Chemmachen asked in his friendly tone to Bonnie lying on the bed. He had not seen the computer yet! Chacko did a last ditch effort now, about 5 dozen ctrl + alt + delete’s in the flash of a second. But Kate Winslet just refused to budge. Nobody ever expected Nishanth to act. After all, all this was way beyond his primitive comprehension. The only escape, if it ever came would be from Bonnie. Now if Bonnie had a mind, he could have shown presence of mind. But then at that point, his non existent mind was in limbo/coma/vegetable state (I have a suspicion that it is always that way, but more of that later) what is important is, nobody uttered a damn word!

To make matters worse, Bonnie’s eyes unconsciously wandered over to the computer. Chemmachen’s followed suit! Chacko by then had given up all hope of ever getting Kate Winslet off the screen and sat dejectedly at his seat. Nishanth had his heart in his mouth, with the look of a man who lost his soul. As for kate Winslet, she still had that smile on her face as if in mischievous defiance of the unfolding drama.

At last the long wandering eyes of Chemmachen fell on that most beautiful image. It was all over in a second, with shock written all over his face Chemmachen turned and silently walked out of the room, past Chacko, past us, past the long corridor, to his room.

Scene 2
The call to his room came late in the evening. The three musketeers were called for. I and Nikhil went with them for “moral support” but were promptly shooed away by Chemmachen. Those three were in for a long session of counseling. "Since there are three of you here, I will give you three choices" said Chemmachen and gave them the following 3 choices
1) I tell your parents about this
2) I tell your parents about this
3) I tell your parents about this

The musketeers did a lot of head hanging and negotiations that day, fortunately Chemmachen agreed to accept an apology letter from all three instead of the opening a parent information service.

Bonnie and Nishanth gave in proper apology letters saying a straight forward sorry, but Chacko decided to do a bit of obfuscation. I guess he was trying to win the Pulitzer, with an apology letter! His letter went something like this.

“Whereas on the morning of this day, I was found wanting in the spiritual plane. The reason for my delight in the pagan pleasure of the flesh was totally unbecoming of Christian demeanor and vision. However seen in the light of my mellow age and adverse affect of being exposed to a belligerent media with unbecoming ideas, the depth of my action should be seen none too deeply.
Whereas you were also pulled into this ignominious delight of the flesh by the actions of one whom I wish not to name in an officious document such as this. My inability to mask you from this demonic horror has increased in me the perception and depth of my folly to such a level that I am in dire danger of self wrath… Blah blah blah…

“Ethu vayichal njan anne kandathenne parayoolo!” (If somebody reads this, they will think I was watching it!) Exclaimed poor Chemmachen on reading this "work of art". The week that followed was one peppered with talks on ethics and morals. Not surprisingly, we did not stay there for too long. In about a month’s time we had all shifted out to a new house where free, horny Indians could do as they please without worrying about the Sushma Swaraj’s of this world.

9 comments:

Unknown said...

hey.. send these 3 issues to Kate.. she might actually give u that smile of mischievous defiance of the unfolding drama.

by the way, since u r talking about the 'infedelities' of the young human brains, y not have a blog about 'peek-a-boo' act which caught u in that famous 'computer room'. if u need anyhelp, bonnie would be more than happy to help u out.. :D

Anonymous said...

He is not ready to do that..i can give all the details...

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

In fact both of them spent a lot of time in that 'room'.. I wonder if twas just a peek__ that happened..

Anonymous said...

zoombie, you still in tvm right...? we will meet soon..:-)

Unknown said...

I seem to have got a bad case of selective amensia... uh oh.. cant remember nothing... the whole computer room is foggy...:)

Unknown said...

Bonnie... it seems our 'kadhanayakan' has selective amnesia... can u get rid of his fogginess? how can anyone be soo forgetful???

Unknown said...

dai dai... jeevichu pokan sammathikooola alladai...:)

Unknown said...

could it be that some scary thing he saw in that room made him forget...