Monday, November 10, 2008

Following Buddha’s path.

“Knock, knock! Open up you bloody ass*****” I shouted from outside Tony’s flat.
Tony (Pullachen) opened the door, his eyes looking blood shot (Whiskey eyes we call it).
But no middle fingers raised, no “get lost F*****” and to top it all, there is a smile playing on his tobacco stained lips!

I look around… is this the right house? Is this the same Pulla? Or was he just too drunk to reciprocate our honorable salutations?
“What’s it da? What’s wrong, why do you look so dazed?” I ask him, thoroughly bewildered.
“Nothing man! I was meditating.”

May the heavens open up and strike me if I am exaggerating one bit... But you could have felled me with a feather right then!!
Nothing rattles us Menacherry’s you know, but then there are these rare moments (The last one being way back in ‘82 when pop Menacherry saw me first time!) when even us great souls lay down our arms in defeat and cry, I quit!.

This was no laughing matter! Our gang’s premier pillar of immorality had suddenly turned into frigging snow white!!! Just like that! The world is definitely going to the dogs, I decided.

Seems like it was the "Pyramid spiritual societies movement" that did this to him! (Must be a pretty evil society!!)

I didn’t care one hoot for all this meditation crap, but he gave me the speech anywayz. It seems that all you need to do is to sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes and take deep breaths. Sounded easy! And to top it, if you are sitting inside a big pyramid, you end up getting a lot cosmic energy…free! No cash backs though…:(

Next thing I know, I am part of the gang that is supposed to visit this pyramid situated about 40 K.M from Bangalore, on the Kanakapura route. Naturally, I was not consulted about it!

Thus on Nov. 2 Sunday morning, I found myself in the company of (women? No! That’s just wishful thinking!) three dumbos who actually believed in this meditation bull shit, namely, Shyam, Pulla and Pakkan.

The place in q is still under construction. Like all holy places, one is supposed to remove ones shoe. I hate removing my shoes, but decided to conform to the rules and not be a spoil sport. What if the pyramid had any special powers after all, eh? Better to be on the right side of un-known entities. They are kind of well known to look down on people with shoes!

The pyramid… well it was an imposing structure, about 5 storeys tall (a rough guess). It looks grey from the outside with some sinister symbols drawn along its triangular faces. We trooped in and were welcomed by a number of boards saying “Silence please!” Thus, totally clammed up and in a highly spiritual mood we entered the pyramid... only to see workers happily hammering away at the struts! With each knock echoing about 5 times over inside the hollow pyramid. Ah! Such divine silence!

Situated at one third the height of the pyramid is the “Kings Seat” The point where all that elusive cosmic energy gets concentrated. We clambered up the stairs and sat in the requisite meditative pose. Pulla, with all his meditation experience entered into “trance mode” in about a minute. I, Shyam and Pakkan followed suit.

Though the meditation itself is simple, one basic percept regarding concentration is real tough. Your mind is supposed to be free from all wanton thoughts and be in full concentration. Easier said than done as I found out!

THUD!!!! That was Shakeela chechi being thrown out of my mind.
thud!! That was Aishwarya Rai.

More thuds ensued, but like Tharakasuara of folklore fame, for each one kicked out, a thousand sprang up! I peeked at the rest of the gang… they were all concentrating perfectly and that too with such serene expressions!

So, I closed my eyes and tried again. This time, I had better luck. I was able to concentrate for about..... 5 seconds...:( Time to change strategy, I decided. To keep my mind occupied, I started releasing the tension in my muscles one by one (an old technique learned during school days… but then, that’s another story!).

I started with my brow, then the pate, then the chin, then the neck… I remember doing it till my chest muscles. The next thing I remember is Tony waking me up..:( I must be an expert at meditation! It is said that only the greatest of the great can attain the "state of sleep" during meditation (Ok! I made it up, now don’t go Googling to prove me wrong!).

On the return journey, I kind of felt left out. They were going on and on about cosmic energy and how they literally “shivered” with all that energy. (Shivering my foot! The only shivering these idiots ever got was when they did not have their Friday night drink) But, I kept my peace. I was pissed off with myself for not being able to concentrate for any long period.

Thus, I am now in the serious search for concentration. I searched a lot and did some serious research on the subject. I guess, It is a well known problem. I found about a million hard ways to achieve it.

Some easy ways too! In my search for this great knowledge, I came upon this juicy fact. The Holy North Indian Baba’s smoke charas/ganja to achieve high levels of concentration!! Finally I have found my answer to all the worlds problems... Nirvana! Here I come!

Anybody got a bit of these narcotic items?? It’s for a good cause you know...:D


mathew said...

LOL!!..I have got a friend like yours...Unlike your friend who has reached Buddha propositions he is a "Smiling Budweiser"!

and btw I have had my fair share of meditation in school as we had yoga classes back then...For fear of broken bones..ulukku..chattavu...vaatham...I restricted myself to the class expert in Savasana....a pure nirvanic delight!!;-D

silverine said...

lol!! Funny one again! Ah! I have been put thru that releasing the tension in muscles lesson myself in school Yoga classes! Thanks for reminding me about it. Time to revise Yoga classes! But definitely not under a pyramid. All I need to do is close the door and pray the doggies don't howl in protest at being locked out. They are the reason I had to give up yoga you see. It a free slobber fest for them if I go into a trance! :p

deepu said...

homegrown stuff available. conditions apply*

Abraham Menacherry said...

Mathew: LOL Savasana... yes its a pure Nirvanic delight for sure! Smiling Budweiser eh? maybe I should follow his path then.

Silverine: Only way out-> Train the dogs to do meditation....:D

Deepu: ahem... I am also seriously thinking about "krishi pani"...:D

Prasanth said...

I was hoping you would get reminded of Tom Hanks in front of another famous pyramid (bleaah!) but looks like it completely knocked you out. I had my experience with "letting go"(the muscles of course) with Dale Carnegie and "How to stop worrying and start living"-nothing spiritual plainly material!!

Seriously this stuff is for empty minds! They are worse then idle minds.


Nishanth said...
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N!$#@N^# said...
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N!$#@N^# said...

da dont't just follow anyone... naga sadhus are the real ones... ;)

Abraham Menacherry said...

Prasanth: Yeah true.. this is for empty minds!!!

Nishu: ladies first!! you can become naga sanyasi and I will follow...:D

Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said...

LOL!Observation tells me marijuana is indeed the best solution!

Reflections said...

"THUD!!!! That was Shakeela chechi being thrown out of my mind."

Did u write tht delibrately???? Shakila CHECHI.....its like an oxymoron:-D

And how did u manage to sleep umm I meant go into trance with all tht noise in the background???
Had a good laugh:-D

Abraham Menacherry said...


Reflections: ha ha ha! yeah, its kind of an oxymoron... It was like sleeping in a train... after sometime the noice is just "background" however loud it is.

Anonymous said...

darling.. I love u... this is a splendid explanation man... And yeah just to remind u, hoskote is not in Rome's distance from Madiwala.. ;)